Yes, I am procrastinating right now.

Good morning, readers!

After the past few tours I've given, I've been thinking a lot about the way I represent myself to students. I am a self-defined hard worker, and I do believe my professors, classmates, and colleagues would agree.

However, I am not a robot. When I first became a tour guide, I used to be afraid to admit my faults--like how, on a daily basis, I STILL struggle with time management. Normally when I'm speaking to prospective students I paint it as a thing of the past, something I "used to" have a problem with until I took my first year seminar course and learned tricks from my professor to stay on top of my work.

I will give myself the credit of knowing that my time management skills have indeed improved immensely since my freshman year. This comes naturally, as you become more used to the college routine and the knowledge that you're going to be scheduling your week and doing things differently every semester.

But if I'm being honest with myself, the struggle is still real. And I think that's true for most of us--we will always have days, weeks, or semesters when we just cannot get a grasp of what the perfect schedule is for us.

Gosh, where did the time go?

I think this is important to recognize, nothing to shy away from, and nothing to be embarrassed about. Because time management skills and procrastination are such huge issues among our generation, it's necessary to talk about.

So, back in the day when I was a first-year student, I wasn't quite sure how to handle the whole college thing. For the first time in my young adult life, my day wasn't dictated by a bell schedule. I had to keep an eye on the time for myself and get myself to class on time. I had more responsibility and more freedom at the same time--I mean, how weird it was that I didn't have to start the morning with the pledge of allegiance, that I could go put my books away in my room rather than my locker (and maybe take a nap before my next class while I was at it), and that I could freely venture off-campus during the school day if I wanted to? I didn't even have to take gym class anymore! It seemed great.

Then, a few weeks into the semester, I suddenly became incredibly overwhelmed. I realized that I had no idea when I should be eating, sleeping, or doing homework, and two out of three of those things ended up often happening at 3 a.m. (I bet you can guess which ones). I'd show up to class with dark circles under my eyes. I hadn't yet discovered coffee, but the black tea in my to-go mug was a constant. It was around this time that Professor Sloane, my first year seminar instructor, decided to talk to my class (most of whom looked as much of a wreck as I did) about time management.

Since then, I've pulled more than a few all-nighters. I've eaten pizza at 4 a.m. I've spent my weekend engaging in fun activity after fun activity (or laying around watching Netflix) until 10 p.m. on Sunday evening, a prime time to start thinking about homework (and not actually starting until 11). I've admittedly been late to class due to trying to complete or print an assignment last-minute. I've made all the mistakes and poor time-management choices one could possibly make.

Why am I telling you this? To remind you that you are not alone and it happens. We all procrastinate and we all make some of those bad choices. It doesn't make us bad people, it makes us normal people.

So, what do I do when I get stuck in a procrastination rut?

-You're working on a paper. Your research is done and laid out in front of you, you've got Microsoft Word up on your computer, and twenty minutes ago you typed a heading and your first two sentences. Since then, you've been staring at the blinking cursor on your screen in a total daze. What gives?

This is your brain telling you that you need to take a break. You need a few minutes to get yourself back into the groove you were in earlier, or something that will help you transition from the reading and processing information phase into the writing phase. Rather than letting your brain sit idle, as that can easily get you to lose interest, turn your attention to something else that will help you get into a good mindset for the task at hand. For me, that was switching over to write this blog post. I just finished my research for a paper I'm working on, and halfway into my first paragraph began to zone out. So I came over here. Is it a form of procrastination? Yes. But it's a productive form of procrastination (strange such a thing can exist, I know) and as soon as I'm done with this I know I'll be ready to focus on my paper.

-You just don't want to do it. But you have to.

More often than not, this will happen to me when I have to leave my house in order to work on something, such as when I have a project that involves using Adobe programs and I have to walk over to Bergeron or Jeanmarie and get on a computer. The way I handle this is simple, but it's effective. All I do is repeat to myself how much I truly enjoy the work I'm doing. Hopefully, especially by the time you're in college, you're passionate about what you're learning (if you're not, then the source of your problem isn't procrastination, it's that you might not be doing what's best for you, and you might want to re-evaluate what you really want to do). Once I get myself off the couch and over to a computer lab, I get completely lost in my work. I'm so transfixed on my project that I don't realize how much time passes (which explains the whole 4 a.m. thing) and I often leave the lab feeling great about the time I put in (and wishing I had started earlier).

-Your friends want to chill, but you have stuff to do.

Maybe they finished all their work while you were binge-watching Gilmore Girls and eating a tub of Cheese Balls. That was your choice. Take ownership of it, pity yourself for a few minutes, go through the stages of anger while you think about how your friends are having a great time without you, and then move on. Chances are they're doing the same thing this Sunday that they'll be doing next Sunday (or something equally fun), and maybe you can join them then, if you work your schedule out better this week. In fact, make that your goal so that you can enjoy that time.

If you do choose to hang out with them over homework (maybe they had concert tickets or something out of the ordinary was happening), you need to take ownership of that decision, too. You know you're getting home at 11 p.m. and you still need to write a speech for the next day that counts for half your grade? Well, okay, but realize that when you're still awake the next morning, you made this choice. Make some coffee, put on a nice dress and a smile, rock that speech and then go home and take a long nap. It happens to all of us. Just don't make it a habit, and remember above all that you need to take care of yourself.

So kids, that's that. Manage your time well. If you make a mistake, forgive yourself, and remember for next time where you went wrong. Now that I've had a productive hour of procrastination, I'm ready to tackle that paper. Let's get to it!

PS, I'm stealing this cute idea from my lovely housemate Merrill: What I'm listening to right now: "Brothers" album by The Black Keys

The Pre-Return Jitters

Hello, friends. You're witnessing a makeover.

As you can see, "My Mosaic" has returned to "Lauren Likes Saint Mike's". The background has returned to a school-spirited theme, albeit more subdued with a simple Purple Knights color-scheme rather than anything obnoxiously designed (I hope). I have returned to America. And very soon, I will return to Vermont.

I have to admit, parting with "My Mosaic" is one of the more difficult things I've done this summer. Hence the header photo of the kasbah in Ouerzazate. I decided that can stay just a little bit longer.

Life is a mosaic. I'm not in Morocco anymore, but don't worry, I'm still working on mine.

The truth is, a part of me will always be in Morocco, and a part of Morocco is always in me (they don't call them cliches for nothing). I get so frustrated when I can feel so much of it slipping away the longer I am home. The general themes of what I learned stay, but minor details--the things that really made the whole experience special, made it mine--change or fade away altogether. I very badly want to go back. In my worst moments, I sometimes wish I never came home.

But I know that Morocco would have never been possible if it hadn't been for Saint Mike's. If I never went to college I never would have studied abroad; perhaps I never would have traveled at all. If I had gone to a college other than Saint Mike's, I would be on a completely different path. Maybe I would've gone somewhere else, maybe I would've stayed at my school all four years (a very distinct possibility, since many colleges don't transfer financial aid to students studying abroad--something I was very shocked to hear from my friends at other schools who I met in Morocco. Luckily, they found other ways to afford it). Would I be happy? Probably. I am naturally a pretty happy person, after all. But I'd just be different.

Despite my heartsickness for the people, sights, places, food, smells, and everything else I fell in love with in Morocco, I have a lot to look forward to. In just over a month, I will be back on campus for senior year. I will be working hard on my senior seminar project with Sheila and at whatever internship I end up with through my experiential learning course with Professor Cleary. I will be enjoying the company of friends who I consider family, most of whom I have not seen in over seven months (wow--it's about time). More importantly, I will be welcomed into a place that's ready to accept who I am now, with all of my new experiences and everything that has changed me while I was off venturing through the "real world". Almost all of my friends went abroad at the same time I did, meaning they know what it's like to make the rough transition back into normal life. Those who didn't have already endured long hours of "Why Morocco is the Best Place Ever" rants over the phone or Skype, and will most likely hear hours more when I see them in person (really, guys, thanks for being willing to do that). The Study Abroad office, creative writing folks, Office of Admission, and plenty of other groups on campus will welcome me with open arms and ears, asking me to speak as much (or as little) as I want about this past semester. I couldn't ask for a better place to go after something so profoundly influential happens in my life. I left Morocco and had some time at home, and now I'm ready to go home, if you know what I mean.

There are worse places I could return to.

Worse people, too. God I miss these guys. (Yes, I did intentionally choose the most unflattering photo of us all that I could find...you're welcome.)

Even though this year is going to be crazy and go by in a flash, I'm excited to return. It's actually weirding me out a little that I haven't been to Vermont in so long. It'll be another bittersweet transition when it's over, since I'll be graduating in May and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. But we won't think about that just yet.

Anyway, my summer has been broken up in to a bunch of strange little segments. They've been great-- after a month of being home, I returned to South Dakota to visit old friends in La Plant for three weeks, working with Simply Smiles again and keeping that Saint Mike's connection going (another opportunity I would not have had without SMC). Then I went to California for a week to visit a friend I made in Morocco and plan to keep for life. I returned back home to New York last week, where I started up a great internship at Mark & Phil, a local non-profit that does marketing and web design for other non-profits. It's awesome to be home and learning in a new environment, but much of this summer segment feels a lot like waiting. I'm now in the home-stretch, so all I can think about is getting back to school and everything that has become so familiar to me over the past few years.

I'm being pulled in so many directions now. If you attached little strings to me and then placed the other ends on the people and places that have influenced who I am--South Dakota, California, New York, Vermont, Morocco, Ceuta, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Canada, and on and on--you'd have me bursting at the seams, ready to spill the stories of thousands, and also you'd have no string left. (Sorry, that ended up being a lot less deep than I thought it would be.) I want to explore and keep moving forward and find even more stories to collect, but I also want to return to all of the places that started my momentum in the first place. It's like I expected myself to do a marathon, but instead I'm on track for a relay.

Who knows where I'm going next?

I didn't know then, don't know now.

But it'll be fun trying to figure it out! (I'm making excuses to post Morocco pictures, I am fully aware of that.)

I want to go, I want to stay, I want to turn around, I want to rise up, I want to take a nap. I'm happy, but I'm confused. I'm not quite content with where I am right now, but I think that's a good thing--that means there's still something driving me to keep going and learning and loving and being and doing.

I think a lot of this has to with not just a longing for the past, but for the future. My immediate future is set (as soon as I pay that tuition bill that came in yesterday). But the finish line is in sight, and after that there is so much uncertainty. Sometimes it freaks me out. And sometimes, on days like today, it excites me. It's the first time in my life where I will have to choice to do anything, go anywhere. I could return to Morocco, or South Dakota, or California. I could look for a job in New York City, or stay in Vermont for a while. I could backpack Europe or South America. I could couch-surf America. Or I could (and let's face it, I probably will for a few months at least) hang out on my own couch in good ol' Poughkeepsie, just as I am now.

Time moves in a circle. Seasons change, people change. But I always figure out a way to return home.

"So no one told ya life was gonna be this waaay..."

Here's to one more year at Saint Mike's!

Cheers,

Lauren

"What do I do with my hands?"

During our ISJ period, my friend Fatima and I constantly had this saying. Whenever something awkward would occur, or we were just fed up with a situation and didn't know where to turn, we'd make a joke out of it by looking at each other and saying, "What do I do with my hands?"

Well, now ISJ is completely over. Rachel and I gave our presentation today, to many tearful reactions as well as plenty of heartfelt comments about our progress. And you can bet I was asking myself this question as soon as I sat back down in my seat. The work is done, my schedule is suddenly wide open, and I only have two days left in Morocco: what do I do with my hands?

My friend just informed me a little while ago that I can now consider myself a college senior. Right. So everything is really hitting me right now.

Today was just very heavily emotional. After a long night of very little sleep, I was up and going at 8:30 to get to school for our program evaluations and then the first round of presentations (the rest of our group will present on Friday, our last day here). It was nice to spend the day with the whole group, but seeing a number of people cry today was draining. Not only were we discussing really heavy subject matter, but we were all experiencing mixed feelings about the semester ending and having to go back home.

This week marks the end of something incredible. During this four-month stretch of time, I've grown more as a person than I have in my whole life. This past month I stopped referring to myself as a student and instead as a journalist. It's kind of like the first time someone describes you as a woman, rather than a girl. Like trying on shoes that are shwiya (a little) too big but you start walking in them anyway, and soon enough you forget they were big.

The truth is, this isn't over. This week marks the official end of ISJ and the program, but my classmates will agree with me when I say that we have all had bigger goals in mind from the outset. We're all going to continue working on edits and stay in touch with our advisors to get their advice about pitching our stories to media outlets. We're not stopping until we're published--with the work that we've put into these projects, it would be silly to stop now.

And as heartbroken as I am to be leaving this amazing country and the beautiful people I've met, I know it's time to take what I've learned here and go back to my "normal" life in America and apply it. I'm going to work hard to improve every facet of my life that I'm even remotely dissatisfied with. I've "done Morocco right," as another one of our sayings here goes, and it's given me the confidence to go after the things I want and to take more chances. Ultimately, even if I fail, my experiences are more rewarding.

Besides, something is telling me that Morocco hasn't seen the last of me. Someday, inshallah, I will come back. Just as Vermont became a second home for me 3(!) years ago, Morocco has become a third. I am forever grateful for that.

I'm having a really hard time formulating words about what this experience has meant to me. I find that the thing I fear the most about going home is constantly floundering to find the answer to "how was it?" I don't think I will ever be able to describe it in a way for others to understand. I won't be able to understand my friends' experiences, even though I will be able to relate to the frustration of describing them. So I ask all of my dear friends at home, please be patient with me. I know everyone will be excited to see me and hear about it, and I'm so excited to see you all too. But I am also incredibly overwhelmed, and unless you want to sit with me for hours so that I can adequately describe, "How was it?" then all you're probably going to get as a response is "Good." But with time, you'll hear plenty of anecdotes. Those little stories will come together to give you an idea of Morocco, or rather, my time in Morocco. This is My Mosaic.

I highly encourage you, if you ever get the chance, to make your own.

Besslama,

Lauren

Birta, ISJ, and So Many Feels

Hello friends, I'm sorry that this update is so long overdue.

As you can imagine, so much has happened since I last made a post here. In fact, going back and looking at my old posts seems quite surreal, as Morocco is so different for me now. Since moving out of my host family's house, I've been having a completely different experience. It's not better or worse, just different, and I feel like I was another person writing those old posts.

But I don't want to get ahead of myself. I left off in my last post saying that I was getting ready to leave for my village stay, so I'll start there.

A long time ago, there once was an old woman who gave birth to seven children at once. Unfortunately, the babies were not in good health. All seven of them died soon after they were born. Their mother, overcome with grief, held seven burials, with each baby buried in a different place. This is how Sbaa Rouadi ("Seven Cemeteries") began.

I know it's not the happiest of myths, but hey, that's how it apparently got its name. Anyway, the Sbaa Rouadi commune (located in a rural area just outside of Fez) consists of seven villages. One of them is Birta, where my MOJ classmates and I stayed for a week way back in March (how time flies!).

So Birta is part of this commune--a commune is a territorial public with its own legal personality and financial autonomy. Basically, the residents of Birta rely on themselves to sustain their livelihood. Everything is shared among the village, and every person pitches in somehow. Pretty cool, right?

We were welcomed into this small village immediately. All of our host families put us to work in the fields, the kitchens, and the school center, and had us tending to animals. You can't get a more immersive experience than this!

(The center, by the way, is called the Association of Development and Solidarity, and was founded by 5 village women in 2008. The main founder, Sebah, had realized the lack of public spaces for women in this traditional village, and she wanted to create a comfortable place where women could develop their own self-sustaining practices and skills. Basically, she's a hero and a role model to women everywhere.)

My fellow classmate, Susan, and I spent the week living with an AMAZING host family. We had five sisters. Three of them--Faiza, Amina, and Sumia--are around our age, and then we had two adorable little sisters, 9-year-old Wiam and 5-year-old Zenib. Our father, Abderrahim (who we called Baba), is a sweet and soft-spoken man with a smile as big as his heart. Mama Khadija has a beautiful smile and a comforting sense of tranquility about her that made me happy just to be in her presence.

I can't even begin to describe how amazing this week was, and how much it changed my life. Although we could hardly communicate with each other through words, I felt immediately accepted as a member of the family. Whether it was playing jump-rope with Wiam and the village kids, herding sheep (which I actually became quite good at!), cooking in the kitchen or weeding out the fields, I felt as though my contribution mattered and more importantly, I felt loved. Both Amina and Mama Khadija cried the day we left, and Sumia walked us to the end of the road and gave us huge hugs before we met with our group. I so badly wanted to go back and visit them again during ISJ. Then again, there were a lot of things I wanted to do and thought I'd have the time for during ISJ...(we'll get to that in a moment.)

Wiam loves to sing and dance, and is overall a beautiful soul. 

I think we spoiled Zenib a bit--she constantly wanted to be carried everywhere, but I didn't mind. How could anyone resist that face?!

Amina and Susan in the back of our mule cart (the "car") on our way to the fields.

Baba has a great smile, but he was a bit shy here. One of our funniest moments was when I told him (in VERY broken Arabic) that the olive oil in Birta tastes much better than the stuff we have in the US, after he was noticing how much of it I ate. He thought it was hilarious and repeated the story to everyone else when they came to sit at the table, and we all had a good laugh. The next morning at breakfast, they gave me my own plate of olive oil!

Our family taught us a game that's sort of a harder (but more fun) version of tic-tac-toe. We stayed up late every night playing because we got completely addicted. Baba loved it whenever we won--definitely not a sore loser!

One of my favorite neighborhood kids, Simohammed. He followed us everywhere! Some of his favorite shenanigans involved jumping onto the back of our mule cart, tree-climbing, calling out to me in animal noises, and playing with my camera (thanks for all of the blurry photos of the ground, Simo...).

I met Houda on my first day in the village and instantly fell in love with that smiling face. I spent some time playing with her and taking pictures, but I didn't want to be out for too long on my first day with my host family so I left shortly after. A few days later I saw her on the playground and she came running straight toward me and gave me a big hug and kissed my face. She was attached to me for the rest of the day!

Amina (L) and Sumia received their certificates from the center the week we were there. They are both embroidery professionals and their work is incredible! 

From left: Myself, Faiza, Sumia, Susan, Mama Khadija and Wiam in front. This was after a long round of picture-taking...we gave up on trying to get Zenib to sit still!

Sumia was the one to pick us up on our first day and drop us off on our last day. My Birta village sisters are beautiful and incredible young women, and I will never forget them!

So that was Birta, although I could go on forever. Anyway, after we got back we had a few more weeks of school and living with our host families. We also had the Northern Excursion, which was just an overnight trip to Ceuta, a Spanish enclave, pretty much only because we needed to get our passports stamped again so that they wouldn't expire for the rest of our time here. It was a great mini-vacation, and I was glad to be able to dip my toes in the Mediterranean--definitely the most beautiful water I've ever seen. Ceuta was gorgeous, and everyone is pretty mad at me for forgetting my camera on that trip, but it was pretty freeing to just take everything in without being bogged down. I guess that means y'all have to come with me next time! ;)

Shortly after that excursion, it was time to pack our bags and say goodbye to our host families. It was time for the final stretch: ISJ. It stands for Independent Study in Journalism, and it's what this whole semester has been leading up to and preparing us for. During ISJ period, we have 5 weeks to pursue a story of our choice, traveling anywhere our research leads. I'm working with my classmate and good friend Rachel on a story about illegitimate children. She's a photojournalist and I'm writing, and we've been spending the past few weeks going back and forth between Rabat and Casablanca gathering information from NGOs and trying to find a single mother with undocumented children who would be willing to speak with us and let us spend time with her and her kids to take photos. As it's a very taboo subject here, it's taken a lot to find women to open up, and we've run into countless roadblocks along the way. However, Rachel and I are very stubborn people, and although we've thought about giving up in search of another story, we found that we were far too committed to this already. Things began looking up a bit yesterday, so here's to hoping our instincts were right and our hard work doesn't go to waste!

Even though ISJ has been super frustrating, a incredibly heavy and emotional at times due to the content of our strory, it's been an amazing experience so far. Since we don't have school during ISJ, we're really living the life of freelance journalists. It's not a school assignment, it's the real world, and the potential this project has for publication is not only a stressor but a motivator as well.

I've also never felt more like an adult or more independent in my life. It's pretty cool that the first apartment I've ever rented is in Rabat. I'm living on my own (well, with roommates, but you know) in AFRICA. If I can do it here, I can do it anywhere! It's a little weird living outside of the medina, but it's nice to get to know a new area of Rabat (it's easy to forget how huge it is when you live in the medina, which really isn't that big). I also miss my host family, but since I'm still living in the same city (I'm not a Casablanca fan and it's easy enough to commute) I can still visit them when I'm free. I went home for lunch yesterday and they were so happy to see me--it was a wonderful reunion!

Of course there have been slip-ups, but I'm alive and well and learning every single day. I'm pretty proud of how far Rachel and I have gotten with our project, and that I've been able to handle budgeting my stipend and balancing work with fun (even though sometimes it feels like too much work--I just realized I've spent most of my Saturday in front of a computer...what are weekends?).

Sometimes I wonder where I'd be if I had chosen to go to South Africa or London, the other top options I was looking into for studying abroad. I can't really imagine it. In moments when I'm incredibly stressed out or wishing that I could just go to Spain (my program doesn't allow us to leave the country while we're in session) I often think of my friends who have a lot of time off and are able to travel and experience other places and I get a bit jealous. But then I think of the type of experience I'm getting here, and I realize I can't really compare. This is a journalism experience first, and a study abroad experience second. And I'm honestly so grateful for that. Even if I don't end up as a journalist one day, it's something I can check off my list of Cool Things I've Done (along with dance atop a camel in the middle of the Merzouga desert).

Yes, that actually was a thing that happened. Photo by Elise Campbell.

A week or two ago, I was walking through the medina with my host brother when we ran into a group of American students he had met earlier that month, because his cousins were hosting them. They were also SIT students, but they were in a program that had started them in Vietnam and brought them to several other countries before ending somewhere in South America, I think Bolivia. They only had a few weeks in Morocco, and they were really excited to meet me and hear some of my stories. They said that even though they were glad they got to see so many different places, they were pretty sad that they didn't get to "know" any one place in particular very well. My conversation with them once more made me grateful, and I realized I definitely chose the right program for me. Thinking back over these past few months, I can't even imagine going somewhere and not getting to know my host family (families, after Birta!) the way that I did, or not having the time to befriend the locals. From the people I hang out with on a regular basis who consider me one of their best friends to the man at my favorite snack shop in the medina who gets excited for me whenever I use a new word in Arabic, I feel that I've made deep connections here. I've found a second home in Morocco and I couldn't be any happier.

Which means I've also gotten very attached to this place and these people, and I'm dreading the day I have to leave them. Today while Rachel and I were furiously typing emails and trying to figure out our next steps, I was complaining about the stress (forgive me, I hadn't had any coffee yet). She simply looked at me and said, "we're going to miss this in three weeks." I felt like something hit me then. What am I going to do when I have to say goodbye?

The only thing I can do for now is enjoy the time I have left. I've made some amazing memories and I have three more weeks to make as many more of them as possible. And, hopefully ("inshallah," as we say here), it's not really goodbye, but more of a 'til next time kind of thing.

I'm off to go binge on snacks from my favorite non-medina snack man and make a game plan for tomorrow's journalism shenanigans. Happy Easter to those who celebrate it. To my family--Christos Vos Kres! As much as I love the food here, you can bet I'll be missing the paska and the nutbread tomorrow.

Shine on,

Lauren

15 days.

It's strange--the longer I wait, ironically, the less ready I feel. If I could hop on a plane right now and be landed in Rabat in the morning, I'd do it. Then I wouldn't have all this time to think about everything that could possibly go wrong. I'd be immersed already, the nervous jitters fading as the acceptance of a new place and "no turning back now" sets in.

I know that's how it'll happen, too--I'll be terrified right up until I step off the plane and into an unknown city. Then I'll be too busy to be scared. I'll preoccupy myself with trying to find my group, get to the hotel, unpack, and begin orientation. I'll be nervous to meet my host family, but again, too busy to really soak it in. I wish I could be there already and get all of the awkward parts over with, so that I can really settle in.

That will all happen soon, of course, but not soon enough for me. Until then, I'll wake up thinking about Morocco. Spend the day trying to get things done while in a daze wondering what my life will be like in Morocco. Go to sleep imagining the night sky in Morocco. Over and over again. Just as I've done for the past ten days already!

I was looking through my itinerary and a little saddened to see that Casablanca was not listed. No Tangier, either. I'm hoping to possibly explore those cities either on a weekend or perhaps during my ISP period, as I already have my plane ticket purchased for my return trip and didn't allow for any travel time after the program ends. I really don't want to end up regretting that decision, so I hope I can get there at some point. Otherwise, it looks like a great schedule packed with some really interesting places. I'm particularly excited for Marrakech, Fez, and Ceuta.

Most of my friends who are studying abroad are either at their destinations already or leaving within the next few days. My friends returning to Saint Mike's are starting school this week. The reality is sinking in now, and the range of emotion it brings is insane. One minute I'm depressingly sad about not going back to Saint Mike's, the next I'm practically jumping for joy over the prospect of this new life in a new country and all of the opportunities it brings, and even in the next minute I'm perfectly content just sitting on my couch at home reading books for the rest of my life. I'm going to miss my friends and family, and I'm going to be uncomfortable at times, and I'm probably going to get lonely too. But it might be time for me to get a little uncomfortable. It's in these circumstances when we truly learn, right?

To all my friends out there--no matter the destination, safe travels!

Lauren

The Quarter-Life Crisis

Hey readers!

Does the title of my post look very depressing and off-putting to you? If it does...well, sorry. If it seems all too relevant, however, keep reading. There is hope. I promise.

I was just discussing the idea of the quarter-life crisis with my dear friend/housemate/fellow SMC blogger Alex, and she showed me this post from Humans of New York (if you have never checked out HONY, go click on that link and prepare for a lifetime of awesome and yet another thing to help you procrastinate. You're welcome.): HONY quarter-life crisis

For those doubters, the quarter-life crisis is actually a thing. It DOES exist. My professor even mentioned it in class the other day. She said she was concerned for us because whenever she asked any of her students how they were doing, the major response was "overwhelmed". We joked that we'd just be extra prepared for the mid-life crisis, which as she confirmed for us, also exists.

So I haven't graduated college yet (trust me I'm not rushing it), which means that my quarter-life crisis doesn't totally compare to that of the young HONY couple. But I am 20 years old, so I know a thing or two about the quarter-life crisis, even though I'm just entering it. Then again, I think I'm one of those people who is just very susceptible to it, because I felt its beginning stages very young (or maybe that just means I'm going to live a shorter life...). Ever since about 16, I've been in a constant cycle of freaking-out-ness. This involves asking questions like,

What am I doing?

What am I going to do with the rest of my life?

What have I achieved so far?

Goals? What ARE goals?

Should I be doing more? What is there to do?

Is this all really worth it?

Can I just climb back into bed and stay there forever?

Are you stressed out yet? I am.

I realize that this semester has caused me to plunge pretty deeply into the quarter-life crisis. I always thought that when I got like this I was just being whiny and overly-existential, but it seems that the quarter-life crisis is actually a thing. And so far, its climax is during junior year of college (but I'm sure this is just the beginning. Yay.). It seems that all of my friends are struggling with the same issue. As if your first two years of college are sort of stressful but mostly just a whole lot of fun and self-discovery, and then BAM. The real world hits you.

If you're struggling through your own quarter-life crisis, here are a few things I've found to work well in fighting against it:

1.) Get out of bed. Get dressed. Open the shades. Get on with your life. The longer you put things off, the worse it will be. So I like to make sure that I'm out of bed by 9am on weekends. Sleeping until noon makes me feel like I completely wasted a day to clean, do homework, and get my life together. Once you get focused, time flies, and you can accomplish a lot in one day (probably more than you thought you could).

2.) Set realistic goals. Both long and short term. Make a to-do list for your day, and cross things off as you go along. Remember to put things like "eat dinner" on your list--it's important to take care of yourself. My list for today:

Up at 9; breakfast
Apply for at least 1 internship
Write blog post
Go to Rite Aid
Transcribe interviews
Write questions and prepare for tomorrow's interview
Laundry/Organize closet
Study Abroad meeting; 4pm
Dinner
Chill Time
Bed at 11/11:30

Your long term goals can be realistic too, like "obtain summer internship"; "secure study abroad program"; "go to grad school".

3.) Chill time. Don't overwork yourself, friends. Also, don't sweat the small stuff. If you bombed your history exam, see if you can do extra credit and also study hard for the next one, but remember that one test in one class will not decide your future. Do the best you can, and then leave some room to relax. Last night I went to my friend Sheila's house and just spent time with friends there. Before I go to bed every night, I sit around the living room with my housemates and we talk about our days. When I do this, I'm focusing on winding down and enjoying time with them, not on anything I have to do.

4.) A cup of tea. This doesn't have to literally be a cup of tea, but some little thing you can do throughout the day to appreciate the little things. Repeat your favorite quote to yourself; sing; smile until you mean it. I happen to make myself tea. Probably not ideal (I should invest in non-caffeinated), but if I need seven cups then I'm going for it!   

One of my favorite quotes from Oscar Wilde, also brilliantly reincarnated in this song by Brandon Boyd.

5.) Enjoy it. This is a crazy time of life, sure--and it will only get crazier from here for the next decade or so. But being A Very Busy Adult With Many Important Things To Do* is actually kind of fun. And yes, I know what fun is. But I'm finding that when I'm doing work that means something me, I'm really happy. My favorite homework assignments are when I'm looking for a new feature story topic, because I get to spend hours searching the library and the internet for new things to spark my interest. It reminds me why I like journalism so much--I like to learn about all kinds of things, and this major allows me to research literally anything--from environmental awareness campaigns such as divestment to effective strategies for public speaking (two things I happen to be working on right now). If you're not finding interesting or fun things about the work you do, maybe it's time to consider pursuing something else. But you haven't wasted your time--you never know until you try!

Well, that was a long-winded rant. I think I mostly wrote this for myself, and for all of the friends who are going through the same kind of stress right now. There are plenty of things that could keep this list going, and I love making lists, but the main thing is: We're twenty. We're young. We have a lot of life ahead of us. We don't have to be perfect, and we don't necessarily even need to have a plan right now. All we need to do is look at this moment--right now--and realize the potential it has. We could go anywhere from this moment. That's huge, and probably intimidating. But it's also wildly exciting. So take this moment and run with it, as far as you can.

Now, I can go cross "write a blog post" off my list and get on with my life.

-Lauren

*Phrase shamelessly stolen from Cards Against Humanity.

PS- The Best Questions to Ask Your Tour Guide (TBQTAYTG?) is coming back next week! :)

Halfway there?

So, I was sitting in my Media Law class the other day (hilarious class, by the way--who knew I'd ever be so fascinated by law) when Professor Griffith ever-so-nonchalantly dropped the ball and reminded us that our mid-term was coming up this week.

Now, I'm not too worried about the fact that we're having our mid-term as I've been listening in class, taking good notes and following along with everything well; what I'm worried about is that we're having our MID-TERM. As in, it's the MIDDLE of the TERM. Just...wow. Where did the time go?

I know I've been gone from the blogosphere for a few weeks. I've been pretty busy doing a TON of work, trying to keep up with a somewhat in-tact routine of eating well and exercising, sleeping, and also having an otherwise AWESOME semester. I'm still loving the townhouse life (although living with my best friends does make doing homework a tad difficult...I've got to go to the library more often). I'm also enjoying my classes, even when they're simultaneously driving me crazy. With three journalism courses and a history class, it's a LOT of writing. Guess it's a good thing that this is kind of what I want to do for a living. Sometimes when I get bogged down with work, I just have to remember that this is the work that I love. I've always been passionate about writing, including journalism, and other forms of media too. So it's actually pretty great, and I couldn't be in a better place!

Besides, it's nice to see myself making progress. Sometimes when you're just going day-to-day, do this or that, class every other day, hand in this homework assignment, test on Thursday, blah blah blah...well, it can be easy to lose sight of the big picture. But then I'm completely riveted by the discussions we have in class, or something I read in a magazine or see in a newspaper, and I'm like, oh yeah, I can be doing this for a living. So I'm glad that I was finally able to take Reporting for Media this semester, as it enabled me to write my first article for the Defender. It was cool working with my friends on the editorial staff and setting up interviews with really interesting people, and I had a great experience. I'm excited for my next Defender assignment, which will be in November.

I'm also working on creating a magazine for my Magazine Writing class. Really though, and ENTIRE magazine. Not only does this mean I have to work out a concept, audience demographic and the like, I also have to pitch and write feature stories, department articles, and even toward the end of the semester I'll be figuring out a design layout and taking cover pictures and putting the whole thing together. Basically it's the coolest and equally the most stressful project ever (and this is coming from someone who has already taken Global Comm...) but I am SO excited that I am going to have something tangible by the end of the semester. A project like this is kind of one of those things that you never stop working on--like, even when I'm not sitting down to type up a feature pitch or interview a source or do research, I'm still just constantly thinking about it. I am living the magazine. Or, you know, maybe I'm just getting too into it. Ah well.

By the way, the history class I mentioned is the Modern Middle East with Prof. O'Neil. I decided that since I am going to Morocco, a North African/Middle Eastern country, this class would be a great introduction to getting to know some of the commonalities in culture throughout the Middle East. Although we're not specifically talking about Morocco in class, I've found it really helpful for just some general information and I'm also finding it pretty fascinating. Never before had I really understood much about where the modern conflict in the Middle East comes from until taking this class, and I now feel much more informed.

So, what else have I been up to other than work? Well, I've been enjoying attending some events on campus, something that I made a goal to take more advantage of this semester. I'm also a weekly tour guide, which is super fun--I'm glad I get to continue with my summer job and keep telling prospective students my own Saint Mike's story. And, of course, I've been trying to spend as much weekend time as possible with friends. My housemates and all of my buddies, especially the ones I've known since my first year, are my Vermont family, and I can't function very long without them. In fact, my housemates and I all really needed a good day of stress-relieving bonding time together, so we went on a hike with the Wilderness Program last weekend. It was a beautiful day to enjoy the great outdoors, and hiking Camel's Hump was also a great workout!

A view from the top!

 

Alex, Cara and I after our hike up.

It was such a clear day (that's Lake Champlain way in back!)

It was a great time, and I definitely want to get some more hiking in this semester. Now is really prime time--it's nice and cool and all of the leaves are changing!

Anyway, I hope you're all enjoying this fast-paced semester as much as you can. Contact me if you want to know more about my Saint Mike's experience at lkopchik@mail.smcvt.edu or on Twitter @LaurenKopchik! :)

-Lauren

SMC: Round 3

Welcome back to school, everyone!

After a wonderful, crazy, busy, and (kind of) relaxing summer, it's finally time to get back to classes. As many of you know, I spent my summer here at Saint Mike's working in Admissions and giving tours. I had a great time, but to tell you the truth, I'm really happy to be getting back to business--it was WAY too quiet and empty on this campus, especially during my last few weeks!

I was actually able to go home and visit family and friends for a week right before school started up again, which was awesome. However, that means I missed the New Student Orientation and all of the fun activities for our new students. So, to the class of 2017, I'd like to officially say congratulations and WELCOME HOME! It's been a pleasure meeting some of you, and I absolutely cannot wait to get to know you all even more (if anyone reading this sees me around campus, don't hesitate to say hi--but be forewarned, I'll probably hug you).

By the title of this post, you may realize that this means I am now a junior--oh, that word is frightening. I feel like I just got here. I've done so much with my time, and yet there is still so much I want to do. I know it's a little early to start getting nostalgic, but first-years, take some advice: Time goes by very quickly. Enjoy the time that you have here, and definitely take up all of the opportunities you can. You only have four years--don't waste them!

Anyway, I have been through my first week of classes now, as well as my first week living the townhouse life. Yep, that's right--I'm living in a townhouse this semester, and it's pretty awesome. Not only am I living in a very spacious home with three of my closest friends (including fellow blogger Alex Brenock), but I am also conviently located in the 100s townhouses, which are right next to Bergeron (AKA Home of the Journalism Nerds). Basically, I can roll out of bed and be in my classrooms in a matter of seconds.





I was so excited, I tweeted about it (Shameless plug: Follow me on Twitter!).

Here are some of the highlights from my first week in pictures (there aren't many, but then again I don't have my fancy Photo-J camera anymore :/ ):

After moving in, I went to Lake Champlain with a bunch of friends--one of my favorite back-to-school traditions.

We've already had friends over for several gatherings at the house. The living room is so cozy!

My housemates and I have decided to make a weekly thing out of buying flowers from the SMC organic farmstand. This way, we can decorate our house while supporting an awesome MOVE program! Small decorative details have really made our house become a home in just a matter of days.

I can't believe I'm already halfway through Week 2 of this semester. I don't want to count, but I can't help it...everything is just moving too fast! I don't want the semester to end any time soon, even though Morocco awaits me this spring. I'm still excited, but I'm also still nervous--and counting down the days doesn't help! My sense of time is completely thrown off--if I'm not worried about how fast it's going, I'm convinced that I have all the time in the world. There's no in-between lately.

I think this is also why I had a rocky first week when it comes to academics. Don't worry, it's really hard to make irreversible mistakes your first week of classes, but keep in mind what I am about to tell you: Time is not infinite. If you have free time and there isn't much going on, start your homework. Don't say "later." Because later, you will want to go visit a friend, or check out the new Quad Commons, or have family dinner with your housemates, or watch a lot of Boy Meets World. It's hard to transition back into school mode after being in summer mode for months, but staying on top of your work will result in much less stress (and much more sleep) during Week 2 and for the rest of the semester. If you start out behind, it's a lot easier to remain behind. As for me--I'm definitely catching up now!

I will probably be posting within the next few days to tell you more about my classes and goals for the semester. Until then, study hard!

-Lauren

Malaysia, Anyone?

HI!

I don't know why that was such an enthusastic greeting, but I'll go with it. To be honest, I'm in a surprisingly good mood for the immense amount of work I have to finish before three o'clock tomorrow afternoom.

My fellow Global Comm folk know what I mean. Tomorrow's the due date for phase 1 of our semester-long country project.

Although it's an interesting project and I'm learning a lot, it's incredibly stressful. It's a pretty big deal. Basically, it's a research project on the media industry and culture of an assigned country, except it will be web-based. So rather than handing in a massive research paper at the end of the semester, I will instead be "handing in" a massive website. The site will be a mixture of my own writing and analysis plus pictures, video and sound clips, and links to other sources.

So, in order to take a break from phase 1, which is pretty much just a LOT of research on a basic website, I'm still trying to be productive by preparing myself for phase 2. This will consist of more research and adding some essential design elements.

Then, of course, there are the interviews. That's where my AMAZING readers come in! I know that I have a small international audience (you guys are awesome!), so I'd like to give a shout out to anyone reading this who might be from Malaysia. Please, if you're Malaysian or you're currently living in Malaysia, contact me. I need to speak to people who have personal experience living in the country. It would be great to get to know you, not just because I need to do this project but it would also be so cool to talk to some of my readers.

So, if you're from Malaysia, you're still reading, and you'd like to help me out, please contact me via Facebook (Lauren Kopchik), Twitter (@LaurenKopchik), my school email (lkopchik@mail.smcvt.edu), or Formspring (Lauren Kopchik).

(And if you're not from Malaysia and you read this anyway, you're awesome! As always, feel free to contact me whenever you want if you have questions about Saint Mike's.)

I should get back to my project now. Thanks for reading!

Lauren

New Year, New Routine

Welcome back, readers! It's a new semester here at Saint Mike's, and a new year for all. You've all probably had your fill of celebration and Auld Lang Syne, but now the the party is over, how do we keep that excitement and feeling of renewal going strong?

Well, I have a few ways. Now, I'm not one for new year resolutions--I don't have the best track record when it comes to maintaining them. However, I made a personal goal over the winter break that I don't really see as simply a new year resolution, but a daily reminder of the lifestyle that I want for myself. That one goal: "Live well."

I know, I know. What does it mean? It may seem a bit ambiguous to anyone else, but for me it has become a bit of a mantra. I wake up in the morning and think, what can I do to live well today? Because, in fact, it is a daily goal, even though it sounds much bigger. But I do small things that add up to that one big goal: When possible, (which as of right now is looking like two days out of the academic week) I start my morning with exercise. On the days that I can't do that, I don't sweat it (excuse the terrible pun), but if I can I might try to find another time to sneak in a small workout or at least stay conscious of my wellness choices throughout the day. I eat healthy meals, but I don't spare myself the occasional cookie (because who can really deprive themselves of those Alliot butter-scotchies?!). I attend class and make sure that I am also attentive, taking notes and participating in discussions. I do my homework in the library, where I can pay attention. I drink lots of water and tea. I spend meals and downtime with friends. I go to bed at a reasonable hour. And, above all, I keep a positive attitude, come what may.

Sounds like a lot, right? And of course, I'm not perfect. Everyone slips up, and I don't expect my semester to always go well, because that's an unrealistic expectation for life in general. Especially when the workload gets heavier, I know I'll be staying up later and I'll be more drawn to fast food or take-out. It's easy during the first week of classes to load up your plate with a ton of goals, because your classes are only just taking off and the pace is slow at first. However, setting a routine now will help keep some of those principles in place later on. Someone once told me that it takes 21 days to form a habit. I'm not sure if that's true, but if it is, I'm well on my way!

It's also no surprise that many of these actions fuel each other. If I eat well and get enough exercise, I'll also sleep well, and I'll also have enough energy to go about my day. If I have enough energy, I'll be able to focus better in class and get good grades. If I stay on top of my work, I'll be much less stressed later on in the semester. And if I take care of myself and am doing well in school, I'll feel good--which means that I'll naturally have a positive attitude.

So, this is my personal goal for 2013 and beyond.

Come back this weekend for more posts--I can't wait to report back about my first week of classes! Have a great day, everyone. And whatever it means to you, remember to live well!

Cheers,

Lauren

Catching Up

Hello Readers! I am so sorry that it's been what seems like forever since my last post. As you may know, the last few weeks of the semester are always the busiest as everyone is rushing to wrap up their classes. Since so much has happened in such a small amount of time, I will update you on some of the highlights:

Earlier this month I attended a Christmas party held by Founders Society for alumni, faculty members and their children. It was a lot of fun--Alliot was all decked out for the occasion with a giant Christmas tree and an appearance from Santa, which the kids loved. We also had craft stations set up so that they would have little hand-made gifts to bring home with them.

My friend Cara and I had a photo shoot in Santa's chair after he left.

Our craft station made candy-cane reindeer!

The Christmas party was a good break from working on projects and studying for finals, and it also got me into a really festive holiday spirit. Though we did not get much snow, and what little we had is already melted and gone, campus looked like a winter wonderland during the first week or so of December.

Beautiful!

As the snow melted and the next few weeks carried on, things became a bit more challenging. With deadlines and finals approaching, there was not as much time to relax or get away from work on the weekends. Although many a Saturday afternoon was spent in the library, the stress of the semester closing was accompanied with and balanced out by good friends, late-night runs to the Knightstand, and laughing fests that seem to come out of nowhere simply because we're so tired that everything seems hilarious (come on, you know what I'm talking about!).

There were also some stress-free events held on campus. The comedian, John Hodgman, put on a show that had all of the students laughing. There were a ton of activities for people to relax at the end of a long day, like getting Henna tattoos or "Fun Night" in Alliot when we were given crayons and paper tablecloths at dinner and allowed to let our inner five-year-olds free.

As for finals themselves, I think they went really well. My final assignment for Nature and Outdoor Writing was due on Monday. We had a choice to research an environmental person, organization, or issue, so I wrote about the global water crisis. I also had my Christianity final on Monday, and was actually surprised at how much I wrote for each of the questions we had. Though I had studied hard, I didn't think I had much to say. But, I ended up using almost the whole two-and-a-half hours allotted for the test, and I filled up two essay booklets!

On Tuesday, I had my Environmental Studies exam. We had already presented a group project for this class a week earlier, which was an event that I had seen as so important that until Tuesday I felt as if I was already done with the course. I'll admit that this test threw me off a bit--because I had taken that attitude about it, I wasn't in the best mindset to take an exam. However, once I got into a rhythm, I found it pretty easy to write responses to each of the questions. It was an open-note test, but I only referenced my books when I felt that I needed to. Otherwise, I relied on my brainpower and passion for the subject to take over, and once more I found myself staying the whole time to complete the exam.

My website for Advanced Digital Media was also due on Tuesday. This project was a final portfolio website that had to incorporate all of our past work into one big project. I have to admit, this assignment was certainly the most intimidating for me, as I am not the most technologically-minded person and I often become extremely frustrated with design programs. I poured all of my spare time and tons of effort into the project, and it really paid off. It was definitely the most complex assignment I had completed all semester, and apart from a few extra things I wanted to do but ran out of time for, I had gotten the result I wanted.

Here is a sample from the home page of my website, which had a slide show of my photography.

The website was due at 5PM on Tuesday, and after making some minor adjustments, I finished just in time. Once I sent it in, I took a big sigh of relief--I was done! This hectic semester was over!

The euphoric feeling lasted about two seconds. My next thought was...now what?

It's funny once you're officially done with a semester. At first, it doesn't feel real. One minute, you're racing against the clock, trying to get everything done. The next minute, there's nothing else to do.

I came up with ideas quickly though. Since I was catching a ride home with Sheila and she was not done until Friday, I spent my next few days of freedom cleaning out my room, which definitely needed a few days' worth of attention, and getting all of my Christmas shopping done on Church Street with local Vermont products. (Okay, and I slept A LOT.)

After Sheila's final presentation on Friday, we piled all of our stuff in her car and got on the road to head home. It was only a few minutes into the ride when I heard the awful news about the tragic elementary school massacre that took place in Newtown, Connecticut. A friend from that area told me, so we turned on the radio and listened to the news most of the way home. I know that during this holiday season, my thoughts will remain on the victims of this event and their families. It is so terrible and unfortunate that nothing will ever be the same for them.

Hearing this news made me hug my family a bit tighter when I got home. I am so lucky and grateful to have them in my life. To all of my readers, I hope that you and your loved ones have a safe, healthy and happy holiday season.

So, that just about wraps up the last few weeks of my blog absence. And quite a few weeks they were! They were difficult, yes, but they were equally productive, interesting, enlightening, and at times even fun. They have caused me to spend a lot of time reflecting about how far I've come since the beginning of the semester and even since I began college. They have taught me lessons about time management, stress, and especially in light of the past few days, love, the true meaning of the holidays and the most important things in life.

I spent my first day home with my family. We put up our tree and Christmas decorations. I also spent some time looking ahead at my plans for the future--so if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go read through all of my study abroad materials!

Please excuse my creepy smile--I'm just a bit too enthusiastic for this endeavor.

Stay tuned for more posts--I'm working on a list of everything I want to tell you about my major and minors!

Happy end-of-semester!

Lauren