It's strange--the longer I wait, ironically, the less ready I feel. If I could hop on a plane right now and be landed in Rabat in the morning, I'd do it. Then I wouldn't have all this time to think about everything that could possibly go wrong. I'd be immersed already, the nervous jitters fading as the acceptance of a new place and "no turning back now" sets in.
I know that's how it'll happen, too--I'll be terrified right up until I step off the plane and into an unknown city. Then I'll be too busy to be scared. I'll preoccupy myself with trying to find my group, get to the hotel, unpack, and begin orientation. I'll be nervous to meet my host family, but again, too busy to really soak it in. I wish I could be there already and get all of the awkward parts over with, so that I can really settle in.
That will all happen soon, of course, but not soon enough for me. Until then, I'll wake up thinking about Morocco. Spend the day trying to get things done while in a daze wondering what my life will be like in Morocco. Go to sleep imagining the night sky in Morocco. Over and over again. Just as I've done for the past ten days already!
I was looking through my itinerary and a little saddened to see that Casablanca was not listed. No Tangier, either. I'm hoping to possibly explore those cities either on a weekend or perhaps during my ISP period, as I already have my plane ticket purchased for my return trip and didn't allow for any travel time after the program ends. I really don't want to end up regretting that decision, so I hope I can get there at some point. Otherwise, it looks like a great schedule packed with some really interesting places. I'm particularly excited for Marrakech, Fez, and Ceuta.
Most of my friends who are studying abroad are either at their destinations already or leaving within the next few days. My friends returning to Saint Mike's are starting school this week. The reality is sinking in now, and the range of emotion it brings is insane. One minute I'm depressingly sad about not going back to Saint Mike's, the next I'm practically jumping for joy over the prospect of this new life in a new country and all of the opportunities it brings, and even in the next minute I'm perfectly content just sitting on my couch at home reading books for the rest of my life. I'm going to miss my friends and family, and I'm going to be uncomfortable at times, and I'm probably going to get lonely too. But it might be time for me to get a little uncomfortable. It's in these circumstances when we truly learn, right?
To all my friends out there--no matter the destination, safe travels!
Lauren
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